Chapter 10 - LCCI

A week has passed since we received our public examination results. We were all busy looking for suitable directions for the future. Although the results were still clear in my mind, we had no chance to rejoice. On the day that we obtained the results, we were all happy that we passed the exams. Although the six of us passed the exams generally, some of us did not pass every single paper. Dwayne was among the attraction that did not pass the accounting paper. He was shocked but not totally surprised. The shock was that he actually managed to complete one whole question assuming no errors occurred though he expected that he and accounting were not meant to be ‘together’. Dave on the other hand did not go through the additional mathematics paper which proved to be one of the toughest subjects in the exams.

Of course, from the start, most of us did not know which path we would be running. Jul and Alex were already prepared to enter secondary six while France registered for a government based IT program. Dave and I considered a private college in the middle of town where 2 major courses can be found there, IT and Business. We went downtown together once to scout for greater details on the courses that center provides. On that day, we reached the center at about 11am and were approached by the acting principal of the college, Ms. Fan. She detailed out to us every benefit from choosing either one. After going through the brochures and hearing Ms. Fan’s speech, Dave decided to register for the IT course. I wasn’t sure and decided to consult my parents for a better opinion.

My parents at home gave me advice that reflected my character. They told me that I wouldn’t fit in the IT line as I am not a technology chaser. I would not be sensitive to technological changes and would not fit in an IT society. After some thoughts, I decided that I would join in the college’s LCCI accountancy program. The program which will run for 1 year will start in April 2003 and will end after the exams at May 2004. According to my original plan, after completing a year in LCCI, I would advance to ACCA and further on in an accounting career.

Dwayne however was unsure that which path he was going to take but he narrowed his choices down to IT as well. Dave thought that he could persuade him to come with him to the same college and enroll in the same course together. Dwayne decided to try and see the college surroundings and went downtown once with Dave to the orientation. Although satisfied with the surroundings, Dwayne made an offer to Dave which Dave refused and resulting Dwayne feeling bad about following him to the same college. Dwayne offered Dave some financial assistance in return of dragging along a physically disabled friend to college every week. Dave refused it outright where even persuasion from Dwayne’s mother did not change his mind. He thought to himself that he was doing it out of kindness and wasn’t going to accept any form of financial consideration in return. This resulted in Dwayne not going to the same course as Dave.

For me, my orientation started on April 3^rd 2003 where it was held on 2^nd floor of the college. It was a very huge crowd with all almost a hundred people attending. The orientation lasted for a mere 2 hours with the speaker introducing the college to us. We were all told that we needed extra curricular activities like chess and table tennis. Most of us weren’t actually interested in the extra curricular activities and were more concerned about the academic programs in stored for us. The session of orientation ended with the speaker segregating us into 2 groups, April 1 and April 2, asking us to collect text books and past year question collections from the registration counter.

I did not get to make any friends on orientation day though this would change from time to come. On the next day, official classes started and the first day of class was on accounting. The lecturer, Ms. Sith, was actually quite nice and accommodating. Before she even started, she asked around to see whether any of us were without accounting background and would require basic guidance before she proceeds with the advanced ones. She wasn’t actually proceeding with the basic syllabus as we did not have sufficient time to complete it. Our exams were only for level 3 still, so there isn’t a need for us to waste time in too much focus on lower levels.

It was in the class, I met Lawrenz, a guy who came from an outside state just to study here. He rented a room at a nearby area and lived there for the study period. It was there also I saw Carrie, one of the prettiest flowers in the whole April 1 class. Quite attractive in looks, she did not speak much to others except her close friend seated next to her. Besides that, our class only had around 4 to 5 male students while the class consisted of 40 over people. Our class was also deemed the noisiest within the college’s history as we were warned for a few times in the first few days.

Not expecting that accountancy was tough, the basics were easy especially the early days of cost accounting and management accounting. The preparation of stock movement charts and manufacturing accounts were quite fun and enjoyable. Business statistics and Advanced Business Calculations were also relatively easy as they were all basic mathematics. Slowly after a few weeks I began to blend into the new society where Lawrenz and I joined in a group with 4 girls seated at the back of us. These girls were all easily sociable and were friendly. They would always be making some noises at the back during free times while Lawrenz and I would be continuously preparing answers for future questions that the lecturer was planning to give us after break. Not like the usual me, we were always said to be the most hardworking in the class and were forecasted to be well doers in the exams.

Months later due to many complaints, Ms. Sith was changed to another male lecturer, Mr. Aw. Most of us complained that Ms. Sith was not accounting material and was all the time unsure of difficult problems. She was enraged at first to know that the comments did not come to her directly but went to the hands of Ms. Fan. Thus, she decided to give up on the class as the students did not have sufficient faith in her anymore. She was later assigned to a lecture a new module, Economics where she is the woman for the field. I did sign up for her economics class as I knew it would benefit me as a whole. As college life was going on quiet, something came to my mind again one day and……

Chapter 09 - Life Stage 2 - Prior Tertiary Education

It wasn’t the end of school totally after the graduation ceremony. We still had a public exam awaiting us 3 weeks from then. As far as I was concerned at that time, everybody was in high gear for studies and not even one was slacking off. The exam was a whole month when the other students were enjoying their year end holidays.

Paper after paper, I endured the questions one by one. Far from expectations, the questions were not as difficult as the ones set by the school. It was a big relieve that I felt that I could manage the questions. I was having hallucinations that I would not make it in that exam.

During the month of exams, we would still be out on ‘yamcha’ and cyber cafes as we still needed to relax our minds. Some papers were held in the morning and some in the late afternoons. We would be out to ‘yamcha’ if we would not have an evening paper after the morning one.

The results of the exam would be known in 3 months time and during the 3 months period; we were free to roam around. We had constant and more frequent ‘yamcha’ as we had in the past. We also went to town a couple of times and ended up doing funny stuffs.

I remember there was once where I met a girl in ICQ. She asked me to meet her somewhere in Kuala Lumpur and so I went. I asked Dave, Jul and Dwayne to come along as well. The date was scheduled at 2pm. We reached there at about 12pm. We waited and waited but she didn’t show up. At around 3.30pm we decided to head home. Upon reaching home and checking the ICQ again, she changed everything including her address to Taiwan. I was so frustrated at that time but I had nothing I could do so I just learnt a lesson to be smarter.

In the month of February, I learned another lesson. This lesson was very hard and painful as it lasted for almost a month. It first happened when I met another girl in ICQ saying she was from Hong Kong. We had happy chatters together at many times and we began to get close. I had an imagination where I could make her my girlfriend so I tried asking. I was surprised that I succeeded. She actually accepted me online. As such, we continued our relationship on the ICQ just like that for almost a month or so.

I remember I once phoned her and talked to her. I ended up chickening after 5 minutes but still had a small chatter with her by phone. I began to have an aim, to collect enough money to fly to Hong Kong to meet her and date her in person. Still, I continued to maintain a steady relationship with her but that was what I thought. One month after, she disappeared without a reason and did not come on ICQ at all. I never knew what was going on and was worried about her at the same time. 3 weeks later, she came back to ICQ telling me that she found a new man while touring China. I felt completely duped and dumb upon hearing this. I knew that I was so stupid to even believe on an online relationship. From that day on, I vowed never to start online relationships again.
As for future routes, every one of us was very uncertain at that time, though not every one. Jul had decided that going to Secondary Six would be the only way around in getting into public varsity. His original aims were in either marine sciences or veterinary though and so without delay, he attended Secondary Six under science streams. For the rest of us, we were still deciding on where to move on in college life. Dwayne had only thought of going into the IT lines but he wasn’t sure which section he was interested in. France was interested in a government organized IT program, and signed up for that. Alex was first indecisive but later decided to follow Jul to Secondary Six due to financial difficulties. Dave and I were in a dilemma of whether to follow the accounting line or the IT line as we were interested in both.

With each passing month, came the month where the public examination results would be released. Our hearts were in great anxiety and excitement as we will soon step out of the schooling world. The results were due to be released on 20th March 2002 had us worried sick the few days before. The worry came to mind due to the fact that it was the stepping stone for tertiary education and we were all uncertain whether we would obtain favorable grades. As each night passed, our anxiety grew larger and larger but we were still able to control our emotions to the very end.

On 20th of March, we woke up extra early, at around 6.30am, for ‘yamcha’ to calm ourselves before the results’ official release at 10.00am. As each hour passed, we began to feel calm as we know that nothing can be done to alter the results, as we have already done our possible best in the exams. At around 9.30am, we worked our feet toward the school grounds with calmed feelings. As we slowly approach the school, familiar faces were seen waiting in a somewhat anguish manner where they were expecting results that deviate from their original expectations. The atmosphere of the school can be seen as quite tensed as almost everyone were trying to de-stress themselves by diverting their attention to something else.

At 10.10am, the principal was seen walking in with an exams department officer and his assistants, held in their hands, large packs of papers which we assumed were the results. After waiting for another 10 minutes, the principal came out and announced that the results were ready to be dispatched. Every class teacher was given the respective stacks to be examined and confirmed before they were distributed to us. We waited anxiously as each teacher opened the packs and went through the list by themselves. After another 5 minutes of checking, they announced that everybody to be in a line ready for the collection of the slip.

As everyone gathered around to collect the slips, we were in line as well, waiting for our turns to see ours. One by one, our schoolmates obtained their slips, some with smiles and laughter, while some burst in tears. The atmosphere became a mixture of positive radiating aura and negative radiating aura. Not long after, I was next in line and when the teacher passed me the slip, I saw……..

Chapter 08 - Graduation Blues: Towards the end of school

As days went on, I began to forget about Jess’ rejection and continued my observations on her. Though, I knew that someone else was also doing the same. Yes, I meant Alex and Alex alone. He was still doing what I hated most, diving in Jess’ crowd and showing off his beloved arts.

There was one girl among Jess’ gang showed major interest towards Alex’s arts. She was none other than “The Fly”. One of the major reasons she was interested would be because she was an artiste herself and seeing another major competitor made her spirit burn. However, I had other strange thoughts of my own, thoughts that weren’t necessary to be said here.

In the month of February, the 3rd official BBQ of the IMF was held. This BBQ was nothing different from the past one. The only major difference was that Dave was now an organizer rather than a guest. We had a lot of fun during that BBQ. I still remember the time where Dwayne was asked to invite Teethe by phone. He was so shy that he did not make it. In the end, Jul had to invite her.

The BBQ was also held on a Saturday afternoon. We thought we were the only ones around but later, Teethe showed up. It was to everyone’s surprise that she did show up. Dwayne thought that she wouldn’t but at last she did. Jul was glad that the only guest he invited showed up. We had quite some fun taking photos of Teethe and Dwayne. Jul also had his photo taken with Teethe. Teethe left before the BBQ ended. After she left, the party continued with more fun and photo shoots. We started the BBQ at around 10am and ended at around 2pm.

Aside from the BBQ, things still were going on as usual and these included studies. I had to force myself to study everyday as another public exam is coming soon in a few months time. There was a nearer and more impending crisis approaching, the mid-term exams. Everybody was studying hard for it and as the week of it approached, everyone seemed to be in an extreme studying mood. This was exceptional for the 5 of us. We still had our regular tea Saturdays or as we call it ‘yamcha’ and going to cyber cafes for some counter-strike matches. At that time, Jul’s counter-strike skill was unbelievable but it deteriorated as time passed by.

It was finally the week of the mid-term exams. We were semi-ready but we still went for it with our best efforts. As I went through each paper, I began to understand how secondary 5 exams worked and I began to be confident that I would not flop as much as in the last year. When the results came out, I was surprised to see that I passed every single paper that came to me. I was happy that I managed to grab hold of my studies for the least.





That wasn’t the case for Dwayne as he was still not happy in his studies. He always felt that he should be granted a chance in the science classes. So, he flopped in every single exam that came to him including this one. He was never able to pass his accounting paper and was the record breaker in his class for not doing so for a couple of times. Not only that, he did not do well in his Economics paper as well. Though, he could still juggle with mathematics, English and the Malay papers well.

Dave was the same as me but a little less talented. His weakness was always in mathematics and his greatest failure would be in additional mathematics. He always studied hard but still he wasn’t too good in complicated formulae and that dragged him down in his studies. Another problem was on his prefect duties. He was too busy on his duties that he would have lesser time on his studies. However, he still excelled in some papers like the Malay and English language papers.

Jul on the other hand was talented in science subjects. He is talented but others usually overcame him with more talent and extra hard works. He was the always the one getting the best results among the 5 of us. He always excelled in science subjects especially in the chemistry paper. His ambition was always to enter into a science course related to chemistry. He could also easily juggle with the 2 language papers and had no problem with any of them.

I never had much chance to enquire on France’s academic achievements during secondary school but he seemed to be doing averagely in his science subjects. Additional mathematics was also his problem as it was too for many others. He was the only one among the 5 of us who did Chinese language in secondary school. I never knew how he faired in his mother tongue but I had some confidence in him.

Month after month, days passed and it was already nearing the public exam days. In the month of September, we were given a mock exam to prepare us completely for the real thing. The questions were more difficult than the ones in the mid-term exams. Those questions were killer questions and I had a harder time dealing with them. This did not happen to me alone as other people were complaining on the same matter.

It was on the same month that we met another interesting person. He goes by the name Tony. He was quite popular among us and we always talked about him. He was actually an old friend of Dave who was also from my old primary school. He felt that we treated him as true friends and thus, he was always sticking with us. He was the playful type and not much into studies. His codename in our group is ‘DNS’. DNS represents a 3 word mocking phrase in cantonese which Tony often used to greet us whether on phone or when we bumped into him.



During the months of secondary 5, I noticed something peculiar regarding Jess. Jess got close to a girl whom she didn’t in the previous year. Her name was Charnel. They were very good friends for the whole year and never knew how it happened, not until today. Charnel was also quite close to an IMF member. It’s not me I am referring. It was Dave. Dave was always seated behind her in exams due to their names. Every exam in secondary 4 will see Dave helping her with her bags. For your information, during school exams, we were required to cast out bags out from the class during the whole paper’s duration. Dave would help her from placing the bag outside to taking it back inside. She would do the same for Dave on some occasions as well. I thought they had things planned out but Dave denied on that. I thought that if Dave could be close enough to her, I can get more information regarding Jess, but Dave refused me outright saying that he isn’t interested in girls. He has been saying this for the past year and we regarded him as the IMF monk.

As I received my mock exam results, I was amazed by what I could achieve. I made it and passed all the papers even though the papers were tougher. Everybody did averagely but not to Dwayne. He still couldn’t figure out how accounting works and failed that exam again. The following months were also busy months where many retiring were seen. The first group to retire was the prefects. Dave and France were also part of the retiring and all the morning session students were to watch as each of them received their certificates of participation.

On that day, we had an extra long assembly. This was because the retirement celebration was held directly after the assembly. After the usual assembly, we were asked to remain seated as they began setting up the stage for the ceremony to begin. Not long after, the ceremony began with the head of prefect on that year giving his final speech. Things continued with presentation of certificates to each prefect that was going to retire. As each and every one passed by, photos were taken by their friends. Jul managed to snap a few shots of Dave and France when they were receiving their certificates. It was such a memorable day for the both of them as they finally completed their duties as a school prefect.

A few weeks later, a small ceremony was held in accordance for the retiring of the media board members and the librarians. This was held in the media room after school hours. The certificates were handed out in a semi-formal ceremony with the media board teachers and the principal. Jul was part of the media board but would not receive the certificate because he promised to return the next year for another 2 years of service. The junior members did give the senior members a hug where Julian was still qualified.

It was still the month of August where something bizarre turned up. I found out a big secret of Alex. Alex had actually given up on Jess and began to have feelings on Ross. This was the same Ross from the days of secondary 3 that were always with Dwayne. I went on to ask Alex on why he would fall for a flirtatious type of girl. He said that he liked the times when he chatted with her. He also joked that she was the type he liked, big bottoms. I never knew if Alex furthered his intentions but all I knew was he had been getting very close with Ross as of lately.




On the same month, Dwayne did an unspeakable thing. He bought a gift from a nearby gift shop and planned on giving it to Kelly after school hours. I remember that event was very funny. It was a Friday where Dwayne decided to pass the gift to her. He chose a Friday because on Fridays, prefects would stay a bit later for duties as school was off early on Fridays. Dave, Jul and I were with him at that time. As Dwayne was shy, Dave had to ask a friend to call Kelly out before he could pass her the gift. After a few minutes, another girl prefect came out. She was Lime and was confused on why she was called out. Dave went in and asked his friend about it. His friend had actually made a blooper and called the wrong person out. To set things right, Dave personally called her out. Kelly came out moments later and received the gift from Dwayne with a smile and thanking Dwayne. Dwayne was glad that she accepted it and decided that he should continue his pursue.

Finally, it was almost time for our graduation ceremony. Everybody was waiting for it while still in their study mood as the public exam was just a month away. When graduation day arrived, everybody was looking smart in their ties for the very last time. That was the last day of official school as study leave would start on the day after. Each and everyone were having fun as the party started from early in the morning.

The ceremony began with a long speech from the principal and his 2 assistants. Their speech lasted for a whole hour. We were then allowed to return to class for some relaxation before we begin our meals at around 10am. We had to pay for our own share of the food as each class would be having a different set of menu according to their own choices. Everybody was running across classes to do chatters with their friends. Jul and France came over to my class for a long chatter before the official meal began.

The meal lasted for about 2 hours as we had our share of food. I forgot what the food we had was but I remember it was an unforgettable meal. Everyone was enjoying that meal as they will be parting with each other soon. People were seen trading autographs with each other so that they could contact them after leaving the school.
At around 12.30pm, students begin flocking the teachers’ room and the front gates. Everybody was busy taking photos with each other and with respective teachers. I had some photos taken with a few teachers and with Jess. Dwayne did something stupid on that day. When Jul asked Kelly for a photo shoot, Dwayne wanted to pose together but the photo ended up having only his hand seen. That was the funniest joke at that time as it was supposed to be a 3 person photo. My photo with Jess was even worse. A friend of her passed by and she asked her to join in the photo and I had to stand at the corner to accommodate them in the photo. Everyone headed back home at around 12.45pm. I intended to invite Jess to lunch but I chickened out at the end.

Chapter 07 - Graduation Blues: Beginning of a New Dawn

In a blink of an eye, we have passed the year of secondary 4. Happy and sad memories all accompanied us as we grew and moved on towards tomorrow. All of us treasure these memories as we know that there won’t be a second time. The year of secondary 5 had a complete set of surprises awaiting all of us. New encounters and new people were assimilated into our interesting lives which gave light to more interesting events.

As we headed to school on the first day of secondary 5, we were now officially a group of 4. Dave officially became a member of ours and thus, we became the original 4 from there on. Secondary 5 was a year full of trials as the subjects gained extra difficulty. I had to once again crack my head for them as they get more difficult by day.

We continued in our existing class as there were no drafting involved for upper secondary studies. I was seated beside Dave and Alex and because the 3 of us were the outcasts in the class, we were seated at the far back. This was a good position as Jess and her gang was seated a few rows in front of us. I had the great pleasure of looking at Jess whenever I could.

I forgot when I started observing Alex on his strange behavior. He was always trying to find a chance to dive into the conversation between Jess and her gang. He would then start to brag and show all of his pretty arts with his petty talk. I wasn’t sure what his intention was until I finally asked him.

He told me that he also had interests on Jess and was always trying to find a chance to talk to her. Knowing that I was also interested in her, he would always find the perfect opportunity to jump in to their conversation and grins at me with an evil look. Even though that was the case, we still became good friends as we had similar interests in many different ways.

I once asked Alex on an event that happened during the end of secondary 4. On a particular biology presentation lesson, Alex had a big fight with Jess. They were out in flames and burst out every word with a harsh tone. The reason for the fight was because Jess and her group originally planned to have Alex present the whole thing. By the way, Alex was in her group in biology lessons. On the presentation day, Jess changed her mind and wanted to present it by herself without notifying him in advanced. This caused a tempered person like Alex to burst in anger without thinking of the consequences that would come after. Upon that event, they did not talk to each other for a day or 2.



I further enquired on the reason why Alex would be interested in Jess. His reason was quite silly and simple but understandable. He said that during his past studying years, there wasn’t a single person who would call his name in full the first time he/she met him. He added that on the 2nd day of the 2nd week in secondary 4, Jess called his full name while trying to collect basic fees. He was then astounded by what happened and thus began to develop minor interests towards her.

I, myself encountered a very funny incident during secondary 5. There was one day where Dave and Alex came to my house after school to check on a game of mine which I was playing. All of us started trying to beat a certain level as that stage level unbeatable for me. When it was my turn, it was smooth sailing as first. Dave suddenly asked me a question where until today it is still remembered. He asked me which part I like about Jess. The moment he finished his question, I failed at a certain spot after going past through obstacles and yelled the words “Oh, Butt!” This phrase was used until today to describe me as liking Jess in the butt. That was an error where none should be made as these errors could tag on you forever.

As for Dwayne, he did not continue to pursue on Val but instead, he found a couple of crushes but none stayed. The first was a girl named Penny. He once told us to look at a girl sitting near a window in his class and wanted feedback about that girl. Although our feedback was positive, he felt that he wasn’t up for such a challenge and stepped back. The second one came by the name “Godzilla” as I nicknamed her. She was actually called Gou but various puns made me rename her that way. She was Dwayne’s class monitor for the 2 years of upper secondary education. As what Dwayne told me, she would help him whenever she saw him in need and would always smile to him whenever she saw him. This was also just a mere crush and nothing else as Dwayne found out that she was having a steady ‘friend’ outside of the school.

The last and the greatest of all crush was none other than Kelly. This was the greatest crush Dwayne ever had and affected his life greatly. Kelly was a prefect and has a very cute appearance. Jul is her foster-brother and was quite to close to her during secondary times. Jul would often characterize Kelly as a chibi-ko. Dwayne first saw Kelly when Kelly was on a spot-check duty in his class. Every week, a prefect would enter a class in one particular day and will examine the cleanliness of the class. When Kelly walked in, Dwayne was shy and never dared to look at her. When she was about to leave, Dwayne brought his head up and gazed at her. She replied him with a cute smile. From that day onwards, Dwayne began infatuated with Kelly and decided that he would aim to win her heart at all costs. As Jul is her foster-brother and Dave was also a prefect who was close to her, he always asked them for help when it came to matters pertaining Kelly.

Everything went well for all of us including Jul. In secondary 5, he was still witnessing the relationship between Koori and Leon but it was a deteriorating one. Jul had on many occasions saw Koori crying alone in the class before assembly started. There was one occasion where Jul once again saw her crying in class very early in the morning. As he thought that Koori’s emotions were still unstable and would burst out in tears at all times, Jul would always be keeping his secret weapon with him at all times. That day wasn’t any different except that Jul found the courage to approach her and comfort her. He gave her a chocolate of his and was telling Koori that he would not enquire about what happened. He would just hope that she would calm herself down sooner as he did not want to see a friend suffering everyday.

Koori’s tears were also noticeable by others and on another occasion, I noticed it myself. On that day, the bell rang unexpectedly late and thus, our classes were dismissed late. When we were out near the main entrance of the school, Koori was seen to be running out from the inside towards the gate while shedding tears. That was my first and only time seeing a girl crying with such sadness in her eyes. I was later told by Jul that he had seen her cry for a few times although that was the worst of all times.

A few weeks later, Koori was seen to be calmed as she somehow broke up with Leon and continued on her life. I always had in mind that Jul was still having some feelings on Koori and I always advised him to go for it during that time. He would respond to me that a girl would not be starting another relationship right after ending the previous one especially the previous one was a sad one. This was somehow brought to everyone’s surprise when Koori started to get close to Auld and eventually they were a pair. From what I heard, during Koori’s sad times, Auld were always there for her and he gave her the courage to stand up again.

In his secondary 4 days, Jul had also befriended another girl. Her name was Cynthia. Cynthia was a librarian at that time. They were in the same class and can be seen talking with each other most of the time. Cynthia did not bring much impact to Jul’s life as he wasn’t interested at her. Until today, Jul still keeps contact with her.

With our lives continuing day by day, our exams were also getting closer. This did not hinder us from having fun every week. Every week, all of us 4 would get out and have an early morning drink together at a nearby mamak stall. This event is the most memorable event in IMF history as this was held almost every week and members began increasing. In the mid of secondary 5, member number 5 joined in. He is none other than Dave’s buddy France. Thus, the IMF became a 5 member group.

Talking about tea, I remember there was one occasion where Dwayne and I called Jess out for tea. On that day, Jess came to Dwayne’s old home as promised. I was at Dwayne’s home already and as soon as she reached, we departed to the nearest stall. The stall was actually located near her home and she said that it was better for her to wait at the stall then at Dwayne’s home. Along the way to the stall, there was quite some number of fierce dogs. Jess told us that those dogs were really fierce and would bark at her whenever she passed by while on her way home after school.

I also remember that during the tea, I was hastily rushing to finish my tea. After I have finished, I was repeatedly asking us to go whereas Jess and Dwayne would be asking me where we were going to rush to. This wasn’t my only time making this mistake as I made a similar one later on. After the tea which lasted for about 30 minutes, we made a wrong decision, a wrong joint decision. We went to the nearby computer shop with Jess and upon reaching; we noticed how bored she was. We knew that the mistake was not rectifiable and decided that we send her home before it was late. Thus, we safely sent her back to her home with Dwayne saying that we would be coming out again. Not knowing that there won’t be a next time due to various reasons, I thought I could do better on the next try.

A week later, Dwayne tried to call Jess out again but Jess said she had to confirm with him at a later date. At the appointed date, she would refuse on various reasons from tuition to tiredness. Dwayne kept helping me inviting her out for a few times but that did not succeed at the end. Dwayne said that she might be suspecting that he was helping me achieve something that I dare not do. As such, I was forced to do the invitation myself after Dwayne failed for countless times.

That was the end on dates with Jess as I also failed countless times inviting her out. Throughout the whole first few months of secondary 5, I kept trying to invite her out for tea but she kept refusing. I believe that it was due to that incident.

I remember making the stupidest decision ever in my whole life. It was during the month February in the secondary 5 year. I decided at that time that I should make a final try and express my feelings to Jess. I was told by my fellow IMF members that if I tried, I would have at least a 50% success rate. Thus, I blindly went for it.

I felt that I did not have the courage to tell her face to face. So, I resorted to paper. I wrote a small note and attached it into a Lunar New Year card to pass it to her. The content of the note was:

To Jess,

I have liked you since primary school days. I have been having feelings for you all this while. I know this is stupid but I love you. Would you be my girlfriend?

Dan

I passed this note to her on one Friday afternoon after school with Dwayne. I was so nervous and shy that Dwayne had to pass the card for me. The day after, Dave and I went to Dwayne’s home to make the deciding phone call. I called her while been still very nervous. I pushed each number slowly and when the phone started ringing, my heart seemed like stopped. I asked her about the answer when she answered the phone. She said no and told me that she needed to focus on her studies for now. It was a great disappointment but a great relieve too as I knew the answer. Though, I still haven’t given up completely.

Chapter 06 - 2nd Chance in Life

While the first term of secondary 4 was officially over, I could still recall various fun time events that occurred during that time. The most memorable was me joining the IMF’s BBQ. It was my first time participating in the event let alone I was part of the organizing team. We invited a few people but only 2 agreed to attend. Dave was one of them who had agreed to attend.

The 2nd agreed attendee was Dwayne’s new friend in secondary 4. Her name was Conner and Dwayne treated her as his foster sister. Good thing I still understood what that meant at that time. Dwayne met Conner on the first day of secondary 4 where she approached him and befriended him. I remember seeing them chatting happily during the secondary 4 briefing which was held on the 2nd week of the first month.

Although Dwayne treated Conner as his foster sister, he was having illusions before he decided so. He thought that she could be the one for him as she was the only one who came directly and befriended him. Soon, he discovered that Conner was just treating him as a very good friend and thus decided that she would be his foster sister for good.

In the mean time, Jul was busy preparing everything related to the BBQ. He had to uncover his magical BBQ pit and had it cleaned before it can be used. Jul and I went to source around for fresh food stuffs that were suitable for BBQ. At the end, we still came up with fish balls, chicken wings and sausages. There weren’t any new foodstuffs that we could think of at that time. Thus, we decided that the BBQ will go with the above 3 menus.

The BBQ was held on a misty Saturday morning. That morning was especially misty and we could hardly see the sun at all. However, the weather only lasted for a few hours before the sun woke up. We started our fire at around 10am while the 3 of us, prepared the ice and drinks that would be served when the guests show up.

At around 12 noon, Dave showed up along with Conner to our surprise. You would’ve guessed what we were surprised about. As Dave and Conner joined in, the BBQ became livelier. We had several kid-like games where we felt stupid playing them, though we had fun with them.

On 1 occasion, Dwayne needed a fork and asked Jul to get one from his old home. As Jul left hastily, Dwayne forgot to remind him that he needed to run to the back door to call for Dwayne’s grandmother so that she can open the door for him. Thus, I had to run after Jul to tell him that and on my way back, my shoe broke and it made me felt completely embarrassed at that time.

The BBQ ended at around 2pm when Dave had to leave in a rush. Conner left along with Dave as she said she also needed to make a move. She also said that Dave could be a bodyguard somehow and would be better if they walked along together since they would take similar paths along the way. As such, after they left, we began cleaning up and at around 3.30pm, we have completely cleaned the whole place up. This was how my first BBQ experience ended.

Things continued to move forward as I lived on day after day with nothing but studies and studies. This was because I again flopped in the exams. The worst achievement of mine was in the additional mathematics paper where I scored almost the lowest among the class. I had to work extra hard to compensate on my slacking but it seemed that things still wasn’t working out.
As for Jul nothing much did happen except for the fact that he became close friends to Koori. As he met Koori only in this year, it was surprising that he could become so close to her. Jul began to feel a little too close to comfort and was beginning to gain a strange feeling towards Koori. This was again completely wiped out when he remembered the events about Vanesse. Still, Jul was observing Koori without himself noticing.

At around the month of July, Koori began to reveal his boyfriend to the public. He was none other than Leon from the next class. Leon was a very tall guy and was quite charming. Naturally, any girl could fall for him and Koori did. Witnessing that, Jul was a little disappointed but it wasn’t deep as he still remembered his vow in the past. As Jul watched from a far, Koori and Leon’s relationship continued to blossom.

An unexpected event happened to Jul during a laboratory session. When the chemistry teacher was announcing the results of the mid-term exam to the class, Jul noticed Mel, a girl from his class, running back to class with tears. I, who was just back from the toilet, witnessed Mel running back and soon after Jul followed. Jul was actually bold enough to run out of the laboratory session to check on Mel.

Upon seeing Mel in tears sitting at a corner in the class, Jul knew that he needed to do something to comfort and calm her down. He began to ask her on the reason she acted this way. At first she was reluctant to explain but Jul pursued further and finally she did. She said that she heard voices among the class calling her an idiot as she had gotten the lowest point in her chemistry exam. She also said that she couldn’t bear such poisonous words and began shedding tears.

Coincidentally, Jul brought his all time secret weapon, Swiss Dark Chocolate to school on that day. He gave her a few and told her that what he hated and feared most were neither brute men nor savage beasts. He said that what he feared most was seeing a girl shedding tears in front of him. He added that he would not stop comforting the girl until the moment she stops crying. Upon hearing those words, Mel stopped crying and thanked Jul for everything as everybody returned back to the class after laboratory session was over.


While those were the events that happened to Jul, something totally unexpected also happened to me. It happened on the first day of the final exams. I remember it was a Monday where the Malay language paper was tested. As usual I went to school for the exams and sat next to Jess looking at her whenever possible.

When it was time to head home, I walked home alone as nobody was following me that particular day. When I reached the T-Junction near the school entrance, a medium speed motorcycle rammed on me and the next I remembered was I was on the floor unconscious for a second or 2. In my heart I thought that my life was over but I wasn’t satisfied if my life ended that way.

My brain continuously brought flashbacks on the times I spent with Jess. I was also shown clips of Jess’ smiles and laughter. I can hear myself speaking to my heart that I wouldn’t be giving up at a time like this. I still haven’t expressed myself to Jess and so I could not die. With the encouragement that I still needed to confess to Jess, I miraculously stood up with a deep cut on my palm and with a little pain on the bones a few centimeters above my testicles. If the bike was a shorter one, I would have lost my testicles for good.

As I stood up, I can remember how the incident happened a little by little. I remember I was crossing the T-Junction after looking left and right. I had a habit of looking left again before crossing but the moment I stepped out to the junction after my 2nd time looking at the left, a bike was seemingly squeezing among the cars sped right at the moment he saw an opening. The opening was the same spot I was standing and thus I got hit by him. I noticed that both of his side mirrors were totally bashed and the bike fell to the ground as well. The good thing was I could still stand up and my glasses were still in one piece. I miraculously continued my walk towards home. A kind lorry driver who was in the long queue asked me if I was alright. I told him I was fine and he asked me whether I wanted to lodge a police report. Before I could decide, the biker just ran off with his bike. I could still remember that biker was wearing black shades and a black jacket with him. His bike was black as well.

Still, I was glad and thankful to God that I was still alive. I was so grateful to God for giving me a 2nd chance in my life. If the bike were to be at a greater speed, I would have been flung further. It was a good thing that I was only flung for a few centimeters away from the bike.

So, with all the events that had happened, I began to understand that I should treasure my life and be cautious of every vehicle on the road. I understood that we should accomplish every possible deed as soon as possible as events like this could be repeated without any notices in advanced.

Chapter 05 - Do you Remember Love?

It’s here, it’s finally here. The first day of secondary 4 has arrived. That was what I thought when I made my journey back to school in a fresh new year. When I reached the school, I can see many old classmates that were anxious on where they will be drafted to. I was especially worried as I hoped that I would get into the sciences stream.

The first week in school was disappointing. Everyone was asked to stay in their ex-classes before the results of the official drafting are out. It was heard that the results will be announced in the following week. We remained with our old mates for a whole week. The teachers however dare not teach much as they do not know where most of us would be drafted.

Eventually, it was the 2nd week of the new school term and came the first day in the 2nd week where the results were officially announced. At around 7am, the principal and his fellow assistants stepped forward to us and slowly announced the road that might lead to our futures. As each name was called towards the science streams, I was nervous as I wasn’t sure if I was qualified to be one of them.

I couldn’t express how excited I was when my name was announced to be in one of the science classes. Not many from my ex-class were drafted in to the same class so I thought I needed to make new friends there.

On the 2nd day, we were asked to be positioned into our new classes. I was so shocked to see many familiar faces in the class. Among them were Dave and Jess. I couldn’t believe it. Jess would fall into the same class as I. It was from that year where I started befriended Dave.

The new class was also quite full of surprises. A talented artiste was among the surprises. He goes by the name Alex. He was always referring himself as the hero SkyDragon as his self-drawn comics were named so. He is a person with a short temper but anyhow, I managed to befriend him as well, all thanks to Dave.

Dwayne however wasn’t so lucky. He hoped that he would end up in the science classes but he was drafted to the arts class. Unsatisfied by the result, he and Jul met with the principal to discuss on the matter. The principal told them that he was unfit to do laboratory experiments so he had no choice but to be placed in the arts class. Although unhappy with the answer, they were forced to accept it. This was because Jul heard that laboratory experiments could be replaced with written practical reports when necessary.

Jul was also drafted into the science class, but a different one than mine. There old mates of his such as Val. He also made new friends in the class especially to a girl named Koori. Jul’s class was rumored to be the 2nd best science class whereas mine was the last among all.

In the year of secondary 4, I was seated with Dave where we exchanged many topics. I felt desperate at that time and decided to try on a one last go, which was to express myself to Hooey. I knew that I hadn’t the courage to do it so I asked Dwayne to tell her. Hooey was in the same class as Dwayne so I thought things would be easier. I guess things didn’t work out in the end.

Hooey never talked to me ever since as Dwayne told me that she was still quite infatuated with Jason. I was in no position to succeed as she wasn’t even a little interested in me. Disappointed but relieved I continued my life and my studies.

It was 2 months later that I suddenly remembered the feelings I had for Jess. They came back and were calling for me. This could be the result of seeing her everyday. I knew that I might be stepping on another mine but I couldn’t stop myself from moving forward. I began to observe her again whenever possible.

In the month of April, the school had a special event known as the General Knowledge quiz. I volunteered to participate and was shocked to find that Jess was also chosen to participate. On the day of the quiz, we tried our best on the questions. At that time, Jess was unsure about most of the answers and was always turning to me for confirmation. I felt appreciated for once but that lasted for a mere 20 minutes. After the quiz, Jess and I walked back to class alone and had a nice chat. That was the longest talk we ever had since primary school and I enjoyed and treasured every minute of it.

Dave was paying attention to my every move and knew that I liked Jess from almost day 1. That day wasn’t any different. He began asking me weird questions about what I talked about with Jess during our trip back to the class. I couldn’t answer a thing as I did not remember every topic we touched during that conversation as I was already infatuated.

While I was having quite some enjoyable moments, Dwayne on the other hand suffered yet another rejection. He was once again on the verge of giving a gift to Val. He went to a nearby gift shop and bought a gift that was worth 50 bucks for Val. He went to school next day and asked a trusted friend to pass it to her. In the end, she rejected the gift and it returned back to the hands of Dwayne.

Dwayne did make a few new friends in his secondary 4 year. His best new friend, Roach, was a very kind fellow. He would help Dwayne in and out of the class almost everyday without any complaints. He was a generous looking man but was actually a bit slow to react on events. Another friend that followed Dwayne from secondary 3 was Terry. This guy has a body of a giant. Although having a big build, his heart was kind and was always helping Dwayne from time to time.

Jul didn’t have a very good start in his secondary 4 days either. His rough start wasn’t on his studies but in his private life. He was yet again been reminded of the wound that Vanesse had given him. Jul was actually a member of the school’s media board from secondary 1. The board’s duties were simple. They were totally responsible for any setup of equipments such as microphones and speakers for any upcoming occasion like morning assemblies.

That year, Vanesse had also joined the board and became part of Jul’s team. Jul had actually treated the board as his sanctuary but when Vanesse were in his sanctuary, it wouldn’t be one any more. He would be constantly reminded of the day he was threatened every time he looked at her. This however was still in Jul’s control and Jul still felt that the board was still a sanctuary for him somehow.

Dave, as we all know was seated to next to me in the same class. He was a quiet person and seldom talked about his stories. He was a prefect from secondary 1 up till today and was considered one of the kind prefects. He would befriend most of the delinquents in the school and would be constantly counseling them so that they would stop being notorious. He was also very helpful to Dwayne as he always assisted him during times of need.

Dave had 2 good friends he knew from secondary 3. One of them is Alex where he was an artiste. Dave knew Alex during secondary 3 when Dave was on his regular duties as a prefect. At that time, the topic that bonded the 2 together as best friends were games and games alone. They would be seen talking on games all day long without feeling the boring scenery they would create to the environment. Another good friend of Dave was also a prefect and is known as France. France is a very good looking guy and a minor flirty attitude. Dave knew France when France joined the prefects in secondary 3. Dave would be telling about France’s stories most of the time as France had a lot of old crush stories that never materialized.

As the year went on, studies continued to burden me more and more. The subjects were going out of hand. My worst achievement was in an additional mathematics test. I couldn’t cope with the extra formulae that were introduced as I began slacking after 3 months of total enjoyment after the secondary 3 public exams. Still, I tried my best to go for the best but to no avail.

It was reaching the weeks of mid-term exams soon and I was still not sure about the subjects. I had no choice but to continue revising hard. As each day passed, the mid-term exams came nearer and nearer. I wasn’t worried of the language papers as I would ace all of them easily. The science papers were the ones I was worried.

The week of the mid-term exams have finally arrived and to my surprise, I was seated next to Jess. I knew it was the best time to communicate with her. Thus, I waited each exam day full of excitement where I nearly forgotten that I needed to study for the exams.

Chapter 04 - The Year of Rumbling Thoughts and Motions

While things have been going the way I wasn’t expecting, I still managed to hold on to what I am supposed to achieve. As each day passed by, I felt that my crush on Hooey got stronger and stronger as she was one of the only few who would treat me as a friend. Still, I knew too little about her. All I knew about her was she idolized a very popular local artiste by the name of Jason. According to her, Jason was a very good friend to her and treated her quite good. Due to that she had a deep crush towards him and every of her friends know that. I did too but was a bit late.

Things didn’t go quite well in the year of secondary 2. Most of the times, I was seen to be quarrelling with the top delinquent of the class. Everybody in the class knows how terrible this guy was. He would be brave enough to stand up to the teachers and step on their faces with harsh words and mockery.

As I continued to silently keep feelings on Hooey, I have been watching her almost everyday. My habit caught the attention of Mr. Delinquent and he began creating awful stories about Hooey and me. This enraged Hooey and her friends where at one time, she was at brink of hitting him for good. This proved one thing, Hooey wasn’t interested in me at all. Assuming that it wasn’t a fact I continued my espionage activities for the whole year.

In the month of August in my secondary 2 year, I had the biggest and most brutal fight with Mr. Delinquent. On that day, he came to school with an injured foot. As usual he kept teasing me and for that day I couldn’t stand the teasing. While he began to throw pebbles to me, I ran towards him and punched him a few. We ended up been called to the school’s disciplinary board where the both us received our due punishments. We were given a choice of either calling in our parents for a discussion or we would be caned twice. For the sake of settling things then, we chose the caning and we were caned hard and we promised never to fight again in front of the teachers. We were still at each other’s throat by then.

In the same year, I heard from Jul where he told me years later that he pursued Vanesse one last time that year. He tried sending in a note to her expressing how he feels but yet again he was disappointed by another rejection. He vowed from that day onwards, he would not be interested in girls anymore but that only lasted for a year or two.

As boring days passed silently, we continued on to secondary 3 without much improvement. I was still in the same class because I couldn’t reach the top 10 spots of the final exams in secondary 2. Some other things also continued on as I still had minor feelings towards Hooey.

However, things reached a gigantic U-turn when Jul and Dwayne were drafted to my class after flopping in yet another year in the exams. That was my first time ever knowing that the 2 were actually very close friends. I began to find out more about Dwayne and Jul and what they were actually doing behind school times.

In the first few weeks of secondary 3, I noticed yet another peculiar event. Dwayne was still as popular as ever among girls and this time it was a duo of Ross and Claud. The 2 were like bees among a pretty flower where Dwayne was always seen with them whenever there were no teachers around. Dwayne would be happily talking with them while smiling like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Another event which caught my attention during secondary 3 was how close Dwayne was with Hooey. I was shocked to see them talking with each other just like every other girls would in front of Dwayne. I began another strange thought that Dwayne might have intentions on Hooey. Yet again, this was all my assumptions but still they did spend lots of time together.

On almost every week during physical education classes where almost all the boys will be out playing soccer, Dwayne and Hooey would be in the class enjoying themselves while playing on the table. Don’t get me wrong as they did play a game on the table that is table-tennis. They would be having so much fun that they would not notice that physical education period would be over soon.

Jul however, was the ace in the class on that year. During the monthly tests, he would score the highest among all the others. I supposed he might be working his butts off in his studies as he would not want to flop out to another crappy class. Even though he looked like an ace, he did not act as so in the class. Most of the time, he would be seen as a tired boy who didn’t have enough sleep from the day before.

The traditional event of the IMF began in this year but with only 2 organizers at that year. In the middle of the year 2000, the first BBQ of the IMF took place. This was the first BBQ in the history of IMF. I wasn’t present in this BBQ but I heard the stories of it later.

Jul and Dwayne organized a small-scale BBQ when they were feeling bored. They held it at a field near Dwayne’s old home. At that time, they were aiming to know more of the girls from this event. Thus, they invited the ultimate pair of disaster, Ross and Claud. This invitation brought a wave of destruction to their first BBQ which was inevitable. It was their mistake to invite them.

Finally, the first BBQ was official on a misty Saturday morning of June 2000. Jul and Dwayne both prepared everything and the foodstuff would be sufficient for the amount of guests that they were expecting. As Jul was a scout in secondary 1, he had skills in lighting a fire but still after 2 years of not doing so, he needed more tries before gaining success. Jul had no BBQ kits and pits so they just dug a hole out the sand in the middle of the field and started a fire a there. He did use charcoal to start the fire.

After an hour of work, the guests finally arrived but with a surprise. They brought along a couple of boys which gave a big shock to the 2 organizers. Along came Jord, Cheep and Auld. The number of guests rose from 2 to 5 and the foodstuff wasn’t really sufficient for them. As the guests continue to munch on their food, they tried not to eat too much of the meat as they know that the supplies wouldn’t be enough if they did.

Within the next 2 hours, all the food and drinks were completely reduced to almost zero. The 2 poor organizers were still quite hungry as they tried to control themselves to not eat the portions of the guests. Jul thought of a weird but working plan to comfort their hunger. He went and bought bread from a nearby convenient store and rushed back to the BBQ site to exert his talents. He did the unspeakable. He skewed the bread on the BBQ skewers and told Dwayne that they were going to eat “Entwined Bread”. This was the name of the foodstuff that Jul gave after what he did to the bread. He skewed the bread on the skewer and rolled and entwined it around the skewer. This was the first official IMF only food.

Day after day, I lived my secondary 3 year with complete boredom and seemingly aimless. At a blink of an eye, it was already the week of the mid-term exams. I prepared well and studied twice the amount I did. I managed to complete the test with some confidence.

During the week where the results were published, Jul topped the class yet again. He got the highest for almost every paper which included science and mathematics. I could always recall how he reacted every time he got his results back. He would kneel to the floor and utter words “Thank you, God” which has been already forgotten by many others. As he was finally the ace of the class, he was accepted well by many of the girls which included Hooey. I was not far behind but still wasn’t up to his standard.

For the whole of the 2nd term, I continued on studying and was trying to achieve better results for the upcoming public exams. Everybody else was also doing so but there were other noticeable events worth mentioning. Dwayne befriended a girl who lived 2 doors away from his old home. The girl, Amanda was quite a close friend to him and Dwayne had many secrets entrusted to her.

Once, Dwayne had asked Amanda to pass a gift from him to Val. He wrapped the gift nicely and passed it to Amanda. As what Dwayne told me, Amanda did hand the gift to Val but at the end of the day, Val did not like the gift and gave it to someone else. Dwayne thought that Val might not like the person who gave the gift rather than the gift. As of that day, Dwayne tried his very best to forget that Val ever existed in his heart and mind.

On the other hand, Hooey began to get closer with Jul by the day. Every week in the Living Skills’ class, Jul, Hooey and I were always seated together and Hooey would always be talking to Jul rather than me. Jul was always giving her interesting and yet knowledgeable IQ questions for her to answer. She would be so enthusiastic in finding the answer that it would greatly amuse her. I began to lose more and more hope as I find myself drowning to the edges. I felt that it was impossible to beat the ace if he would be interested in Hooey.

It was finally the week of the public exams, the time we were all waiting for. Upon finishing this exam we would be granted temporary freedom from books for about 3 months. Weeks prior to the exams would be seen as busy days. Everybody was doing nothing else but studying and revising. Those people would include me as well. Jul was always the attraction when it comes to questions regarding scientific matters.

Passing each day in the week of the public exams was particularly slow as I needed to worry what questions the next papers will cover. Though, eventually I passed everyday of it successfully. After a full week of exams, we were finally done. We’ve completed the first level of secondary education. On the last day of the exams, yells of people can be heard with words like “Freedom!” and so on.

School still continued but not many attended as there weren’t many lessons going on. I was one of them who always skipped classes during that time because people would be there just to play games with each other. It was another whole month of school before a two-month long holiday was granted.

December 2000 was the month where the results of the secondary 3 public exams would come out. Everybody was waiting nervously for the results to be publicized. News on the television would announce the actual date of the results publishing. I remember it was a few days before Christmas where the results were actually released. All of us crowded the classrooms to see our results.
I got mine and it wasn’t very disappointing. We were also handed out forms to be completed on which streams we were going to choose. We were given a few choices where they fall in 2 main categories, science and arts. I chose science of course and awaited the drafting results which would be announced at the first day of secondary 4. Thus, I continued on my life to the 2nd level of secondary education.