In a blink of an eye, we have passed the year of secondary 4. Happy and sad memories all accompanied us as we grew and moved on towards tomorrow. All of us treasure these memories as we know that there won’t be a second time. The year of secondary 5 had a complete set of surprises awaiting all of us. New encounters and new people were assimilated into our interesting lives which gave light to more interesting events.
As we headed to school on the first day of secondary 5, we were now officially a group of 4. Dave officially became a member of ours and thus, we became the original 4 from there on. Secondary 5 was a year full of trials as the subjects gained extra difficulty. I had to once again crack my head for them as they get more difficult by day.
We continued in our existing class as there were no drafting involved for upper secondary studies. I was seated beside Dave and Alex and because the 3 of us were the outcasts in the class, we were seated at the far back. This was a good position as Jess and her gang was seated a few rows in front of us. I had the great pleasure of looking at Jess whenever I could.
I forgot when I started observing Alex on his strange behavior. He was always trying to find a chance to dive into the conversation between Jess and her gang. He would then start to brag and show all of his pretty arts with his petty talk. I wasn’t sure what his intention was until I finally asked him.
He told me that he also had interests on Jess and was always trying to find a chance to talk to her. Knowing that I was also interested in her, he would always find the perfect opportunity to jump in to their conversation and grins at me with an evil look. Even though that was the case, we still became good friends as we had similar interests in many different ways.
I once asked Alex on an event that happened during the end of secondary 4. On a particular biology presentation lesson, Alex had a big fight with Jess. They were out in flames and burst out every word with a harsh tone. The reason for the fight was because Jess and her group originally planned to have Alex present the whole thing. By the way, Alex was in her group in biology lessons. On the presentation day, Jess changed her mind and wanted to present it by herself without notifying him in advanced. This caused a tempered person like Alex to burst in anger without thinking of the consequences that would come after. Upon that event, they did not talk to each other for a day or 2.
I further enquired on the reason why Alex would be interested in Jess. His reason was quite silly and simple but understandable. He said that during his past studying years, there wasn’t a single person who would call his name in full the first time he/she met him. He added that on the 2nd day of the 2nd week in secondary 4, Jess called his full name while trying to collect basic fees. He was then astounded by what happened and thus began to develop minor interests towards her.
I, myself encountered a very funny incident during secondary 5. There was one day where Dave and Alex came to my house after school to check on a game of mine which I was playing. All of us started trying to beat a certain level as that stage level unbeatable for me. When it was my turn, it was smooth sailing as first. Dave suddenly asked me a question where until today it is still remembered. He asked me which part I like about Jess. The moment he finished his question, I failed at a certain spot after going past through obstacles and yelled the words “Oh, Butt!” This phrase was used until today to describe me as liking Jess in the butt. That was an error where none should be made as these errors could tag on you forever.
As for Dwayne, he did not continue to pursue on Val but instead, he found a couple of crushes but none stayed. The first was a girl named Penny. He once told us to look at a girl sitting near a window in his class and wanted feedback about that girl. Although our feedback was positive, he felt that he wasn’t up for such a challenge and stepped back. The second one came by the name “Godzilla” as I nicknamed her. She was actually called Gou but various puns made me rename her that way. She was Dwayne’s class monitor for the 2 years of upper secondary education. As what Dwayne told me, she would help him whenever she saw him in need and would always smile to him whenever she saw him. This was also just a mere crush and nothing else as Dwayne found out that she was having a steady ‘friend’ outside of the school.
The last and the greatest of all crush was none other than Kelly. This was the greatest crush Dwayne ever had and affected his life greatly. Kelly was a prefect and has a very cute appearance. Jul is her foster-brother and was quite to close to her during secondary times. Jul would often characterize Kelly as a chibi-ko. Dwayne first saw Kelly when Kelly was on a spot-check duty in his class. Every week, a prefect would enter a class in one particular day and will examine the cleanliness of the class. When Kelly walked in, Dwayne was shy and never dared to look at her. When she was about to leave, Dwayne brought his head up and gazed at her. She replied him with a cute smile. From that day onwards, Dwayne began infatuated with Kelly and decided that he would aim to win her heart at all costs. As Jul is her foster-brother and Dave was also a prefect who was close to her, he always asked them for help when it came to matters pertaining Kelly.
Everything went well for all of us including Jul. In secondary 5, he was still witnessing the relationship between Koori and Leon but it was a deteriorating one. Jul had on many occasions saw Koori crying alone in the class before assembly started. There was one occasion where Jul once again saw her crying in class very early in the morning. As he thought that Koori’s emotions were still unstable and would burst out in tears at all times, Jul would always be keeping his secret weapon with him at all times. That day wasn’t any different except that Jul found the courage to approach her and comfort her. He gave her a chocolate of his and was telling Koori that he would not enquire about what happened. He would just hope that she would calm herself down sooner as he did not want to see a friend suffering everyday.
Koori’s tears were also noticeable by others and on another occasion, I noticed it myself. On that day, the bell rang unexpectedly late and thus, our classes were dismissed late. When we were out near the main entrance of the school, Koori was seen to be running out from the inside towards the gate while shedding tears. That was my first and only time seeing a girl crying with such sadness in her eyes. I was later told by Jul that he had seen her cry for a few times although that was the worst of all times.
A few weeks later, Koori was seen to be calmed as she somehow broke up with Leon and continued on her life. I always had in mind that Jul was still having some feelings on Koori and I always advised him to go for it during that time. He would respond to me that a girl would not be starting another relationship right after ending the previous one especially the previous one was a sad one. This was somehow brought to everyone’s surprise when Koori started to get close to Auld and eventually they were a pair. From what I heard, during Koori’s sad times, Auld were always there for her and he gave her the courage to stand up again.
In his secondary 4 days, Jul had also befriended another girl. Her name was Cynthia. Cynthia was a librarian at that time. They were in the same class and can be seen talking with each other most of the time. Cynthia did not bring much impact to Jul’s life as he wasn’t interested at her. Until today, Jul still keeps contact with her.
With our lives continuing day by day, our exams were also getting closer. This did not hinder us from having fun every week. Every week, all of us 4 would get out and have an early morning drink together at a nearby mamak stall. This event is the most memorable event in IMF history as this was held almost every week and members began increasing. In the mid of secondary 5, member number 5 joined in. He is none other than Dave’s buddy France. Thus, the IMF became a 5 member group.
Talking about tea, I remember there was one occasion where Dwayne and I called Jess out for tea. On that day, Jess came to Dwayne’s old home as promised. I was at Dwayne’s home already and as soon as she reached, we departed to the nearest stall. The stall was actually located near her home and she said that it was better for her to wait at the stall then at Dwayne’s home. Along the way to the stall, there was quite some number of fierce dogs. Jess told us that those dogs were really fierce and would bark at her whenever she passed by while on her way home after school.
I also remember that during the tea, I was hastily rushing to finish my tea. After I have finished, I was repeatedly asking us to go whereas Jess and Dwayne would be asking me where we were going to rush to. This wasn’t my only time making this mistake as I made a similar one later on. After the tea which lasted for about 30 minutes, we made a wrong decision, a wrong joint decision. We went to the nearby computer shop with Jess and upon reaching; we noticed how bored she was. We knew that the mistake was not rectifiable and decided that we send her home before it was late. Thus, we safely sent her back to her home with Dwayne saying that we would be coming out again. Not knowing that there won’t be a next time due to various reasons, I thought I could do better on the next try.
A week later, Dwayne tried to call Jess out again but Jess said she had to confirm with him at a later date. At the appointed date, she would refuse on various reasons from tuition to tiredness. Dwayne kept helping me inviting her out for a few times but that did not succeed at the end. Dwayne said that she might be suspecting that he was helping me achieve something that I dare not do. As such, I was forced to do the invitation myself after Dwayne failed for countless times.
That was the end on dates with Jess as I also failed countless times inviting her out. Throughout the whole first few months of secondary 5, I kept trying to invite her out for tea but she kept refusing. I believe that it was due to that incident.
I remember making the stupidest decision ever in my whole life. It was during the month February in the secondary 5 year. I decided at that time that I should make a final try and express my feelings to Jess. I was told by my fellow IMF members that if I tried, I would have at least a 50% success rate. Thus, I blindly went for it.
I felt that I did not have the courage to tell her face to face. So, I resorted to paper. I wrote a small note and attached it into a Lunar New Year card to pass it to her. The content of the note was:
To Jess,
I have liked you since primary school days. I have been having feelings for you all this while. I know this is stupid but I love you. Would you be my girlfriend?
Dan
I passed this note to her on one Friday afternoon after school with Dwayne. I was so nervous and shy that Dwayne had to pass the card for me. The day after, Dave and I went to Dwayne’s home to make the deciding phone call. I called her while been still very nervous. I pushed each number slowly and when the phone started ringing, my heart seemed like stopped. I asked her about the answer when she answered the phone. She said no and told me that she needed to focus on her studies for now. It was a great disappointment but a great relieve too as I knew the answer. Though, I still haven’t given up completely.
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