It was the year 1998 and that was my first year of secondary education. Things begin to go interesting in these times as the early formation of the IMF was dated back to this year.
On the first day of secondary 1, everything was new to me. It never happened in my life that there were so many school rules unheard of. We were required to wear a tie every Monday and during Monday assemblies, we had to sing 2 extra songs before hearing long speeches from the principal and so on. If that wasn’t enough, the first 2 years of secondary education were done at hot and sleepy afternoons.
The first day was none the less a Monday and we had to stand in a small and crowded hall for about 20 minutes before we can be dismissed back to our classes. The process from singing the national anthems to the final announcements will always take about 15 to 20 minutes. It was during the first day I met this unbelievably strong willed boy. He is one of the earliest members of the IMF. Dwayne is a physically handicapped boy. Aside from not having proper legs for movement, he only had 1 useable arm but he was always seen moving around in his electric powered wheelchair.
My first impression of Dwayne was that he could be an innocent disabled kid. His looks were very innocent and that attracted a lot of attention from both the boys and the girls. I was assigned to sit next to him during the whole year of secondary 1.
As each day passes in my secondary 1 year, I began to know more about Dwayne although not as much as I do now. I heard that he was born this way but despite seeing himself as what he is, he decided to live on and tried to fit in to the society like every other kid in town.
Another boy from my class in secondary 1, Jul was also very famous. He was always seen picking his nose and people gave him a nickname “the gold digger”. Jul was a very bright student and was also working hard in achieving what he aimed for. However, he still lacked a bit of luck and always ended up behind the others but still in front of me.
I was later told that Dwayne and Jul became the best of friends despite not knowing each other during primary school. They often hang out together during recess where Dwayne normally stays inside the classroom to study and chat around.
It was 2 months after I first entered this school and I was still having problems fitting with the rules and the people. I was always the outcast of the popular people from primary school but I wouldn’t bother about such trivial matters. I just lived on based on what I think was most suitable for me and me alone. My usual mistakes were forgetting to wear a tie during Monday assemblies but weren’t caught because I hid behind the corners.
One day, I noticed something that I was so shocked. I saw Jess who was from my school talking so friendly with Dwayne as though they knew each other for a long time. Saddened and shocked at the same time I thought Dwayne could be eyeing for Jess as well. The further I investigated the more shocks I got. There was another occasion where I saw Dwayne heading home with Jess. At that time I felt like totally defeated. I felt that what I was planning for all these years would be gone in a few flashes.
Still, I did not plan to give up yet and continued to observe Jess from a far. It was then I noticed something very peculiar. Dwayne was actually doing something I was doing but he wasn’t eyeing on Jess. Who could it be? I tried observing him for a few times and found out that his aim was actually a girl named Val. I would agree that Val is indeed a very pretty one among the girls but she did not catch my eyes because my eyes were always on Jess.
Things continued on as each day passed on in the first year of secondary 1. I would still find that Dwayne was still always finding a chance to look at Val for even a few seconds. What do I have to condemn when what I was doing is nothing less notorious than what he was doing. We’re still kids at that time and we thought that expressing feelings to a beloved would make us the laughing stock of the whole school.
As for Jul, something unspeakably happened to him during secondary 1. I remember it was near the month of April where this happened. It was during a physical education class where Jul was openly asked whether he was having feelings to a girl in the same class. I wasn’t really sure who they were talking about but when Jul answered, everybody was clear on the matter. He was so daring to answer the question so directly. I remember his words were “Yes, so what if I do like Vanesse. Is it wrong to love somebody?”. For a secondary school student to utter these words require a great deal of courage and he was one to show it.
I was later told that 2 boys from my class, Auld and Cheep confronted Jul regarding this matter. They told Jul that it was Vanesse who asked them to do so. They added that Jul is in no position to like her, as she wouldn’t even think of liking you. The duo also said that it was wrong for a lowly pheasant like him to have feelings for some as noble as her. They ordered Jul to never try anything funny on Vanesse or else he would get the beating of his lifetime.
The day after, Jul confronted Vanesse on the matter where Vanesse denied everything that the duo said to him. She said that she didn’t ask them to do such nasty things and although she would not accept Jul, she wasn’t in any position to stop Jul from having feelings towards her. Disappointed from Vanesse’s reply, Jul decided that he would try to forget that he ever had feelings towards this girl. He vowed that he would not have any last hopes on her anymore in the future.
With that and some other minor events, the first half of secondary 1 passed on just like that. As for the academic part, I wasn’t that bright and so I ended up near the bottom of the class but I would not give up just because of one failure as this is just the beginning of secondary education.
In June the same year, there was one event where even today I could still remember. Dwayne, who was still acting innocent at that time, forgot to bring back homework of mine, which I borrowed him the day before. I was in a state of panic, as I did not know what to do. When the teacher came in, my feet were trembling and I did not know what to say to the teacher when I did not have homework to present. It was a good thing that Dwayne told the teacher all the truth before I was penalized for not having homework to present. He told the teacher what he told me but adding in an innocent smile which the teacher accepted and forgave him that once.
At that time, I really thought that this boy can be a really good friend but still he’s walking home with Jess everyday. Everyday when it was time to head home, I can always see the 2 of them walking home together while talking happily to each other. I began to doubt another fact; Jess could have had feelings on Dwayne. In my entire primary school life I have never seen Jess smiles and laughs as happily as she did during that time. I began to have a strong feeling that Jess could be having some really good days with Dwayne that I did not know of.
Although Jess was always accompanying him home, I can still feel that his feelings were still towards Val and not Jess. This was a great relieve for me as I know that one-sided love will always fail to start at the end. This was based on my assumption that Jess was slowly falling for the innocent Dwayne.
Time continued to pass day by day and it was already the month of August where it was the school’s annual photo taking ceremony. In the whole week, every class will be having their class photos taken in a specific sequence. The photos will include all the students present on that day and their class teacher.
As I thought they would do the arrangement on how the students will be positioned in the photo according to their names, I felt that it was time that I’d be next to Jess in the photo as we both share the same surname.
I was given yet another terrible shock when the photographers positioned me and Jess at each opposite corners. Their reasons were that she was quite short and was better seen at the corners. This was the same reason I was positioned at another corner. They took 2 shots for each class and it was a similar thing to us. We were given a choice of whether to accept the first shot, the second shot or both shots. The class however decided to accept both and let us choose among ourselves during the reprinting later.
As the final exam of secondary 1 slowly approaches, I myself felt that I wasn’t ready for it. I should say that I wasn’t actually ready for secondary education yet. The whole 3 months of holidays after my primary 6 public exams was spent playing computer games and other sorts of non-academic and non-physical activities. Even though that was the case, I always took things easy all the way.
Finally, it was the week of the final exams. Everybody was studying mad. Everybody including Jul and Dwayne were trying to get all the information into their heads. No one ever thought that Jul and Dwayne would flop in the exams, not even me would.
After 2 whole and immense weeks of exams, we finally finished the exams. The results came out 2 weeks later and I surprisingly flopped even further than the previous exam. It was later announced that those who were ranked the lowest 10 would be transferred to the next class whereas the top 10 from the next class would go there. I was one of them that were drafted there and never did I know that another old friend, Dave got transferred as well. As you have seen above, Dave is member number 4 but he and I would not join in the IMF so soon.
Secondary 2, my quality of life begins to deteriorate further and further as I had lost my one and only aim in my life, Jess. I was separated from her because of my weak academic results and no one else but myself to blame. But, life needs to go on and so I tried to live each day to the fullest.
Never in my life had I imagined that my heart was so easily attracted by people that would catch my attention. This person came as a girl named Hooey. I felt a crush on her the first few moments I saw her that wasn’t deep yet. That happened on the first day of secondary 2 where she was seated alone at the furthest back at the row. I was sitting near the back in the next row and I noticed her in just a short instant.
As secondary 2 goes on, I was forced to live another year of secondary 1 but with greater trials and tribulations. The biggest of all problems would be Mathematics at that time. I was quite blurred with the negative numbers introduced at that time and could not cope with everything that was taught. This was especially true because the teacher wasn’t teaching very well.
Like all secondary school students, we have to attend sports practice that would be held at months of February every year. During the first day of the sports practice, while on my way home, I bumped into Hooey riding her bike. She was looking for her friend that was having practice on the same day. We had some small chats before she headed off with a smile. Suddenly, I felt like heaven but still I always felt that no one would like such an ordinary guy like me but the hope still lingers somewhere. Who knows when an angel might descend to me one day?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment